Well, its that time of year again. Although it has felt like fall for the past 3 weeks, it truly is fast approaching. I usually love this time of year: the start of a new school year, new students, new challenges, falling leaves, apples, chilly Friday night football games and cozy Sunday's watching Giants games. This fall is different. The coming Fall brings sadness, tears and guilt for me this year. I can't fathom leaving Madden for 8 hours a day. The thought of someone else spending more time with her during the day than me is absolutely tearing me apart. Madden and I went into school this week to work in my classroom and I wanted to puke the first time I pulled in the parking lot. Matt has offered to put a "For Sale" sign out front and build us a smaller house somewhere else. I don't know how serious he is... I wonder if he is scared I'll take him up on it? I knew going into this I'd have to go back to work, we need both incomes, but now that's she's here, it's different and way harder than I ever dreamed it'd be, and I knew it would be hard. While I love my job as a teacher, I feel like now my job is being a mommy. Can I be both? I sure as hell hope so. I see all the great mothers that are around me and I think she is/was a stay at home Mom, can I be as great a mom as her? I guess I'm gonna try. As I was walking through the hallways at school the other day I would see women who I knew had to come back to work after having babies and I keep telling myself "If she did it, I can too." I know that some people only get 6 weeks home with their babies before they have to go back to work, so I am blessed to have gotten 4 months. They only bright spot in all of this is while Madden is spending 8 hours a day away from me, she will be in the arms of her Aunt Michelle. I told Matt if we weren't bring her there I probably would have already put a "For Sale by Owner" sign out front by now. It is comforting to know that Madden is going to be spending the day with someone who loves her.
Ok, on a brighter note, Madden was baptized last Saturday. We had a great barbeque back at our house afterwards. It was nice to have everyone here. Here are some updated pics of her.
Aunt Alicia, Aunt Staci and Madden after the baptism
Madden has discovered Hadley. She loves to watch her.
I love this picture!
We have found our thumb! Sometimes I catch her with both of them in her mouth.
Madden on her belly with her thumb.
